So, here goes…into the Wild World of Blogging…or WWoB for those of you not in the know…

Imaginary WordPress Interviewer (IWPI): “Who are you and why are you here?”

Me: “My blog pseudonym is The Tortugita.  My husband calls me that.  I had the nickname Turtle previous to meeting him and he just started calling me his little turtle.  I believe that it is not spelt correctly, as it should be in Spanish.  However, that’s how he first spelled it for me and I’ve been using it ever since.

(I recently just read a great story on Discover about AKO Collective.  That interview inspired me and got me seriously thinking about not using a pseudonym.  I feel the same about keeping my real name private for now as AKO thought at first.  I suppose I will ruminate on that and there will be more on that later.)

I guess a little bit about why I have the nickname Turtle.  My last name is similar and I hate to admit that the turtle suits me as a ‘spirit animal’ of sorts (I say hate because I am sort of afraid of turtles).”

IWPI: *Gasps* “You’re afraid of turtles?”

Me:  *Chuckles* “Yes, I am a little bit afraid of turtles.  I saw a snapping turtle when I was younger at camp.  It bit right through a stick and I just have always been very wary of them since then.”

IWPI:  “So, why are you similar to a turtle?”

Me:  “I work with a lot of people who are physically fit and I am always the slowest runner.  I am always last to finish any group run and I really do have a slow pace.  However, put me in the water and I can out-swim most of those same people.  My dad has described me as a fish, dolphin, etc. when talking about me to other people.  I have been in the water since I was little and I have always loved swimming.”

IWPI: “So, why are you here?  Why are you blogging?”

Me:  “Well, I woke up recently and realized that I wanted something better for my life.  I had been searching the web for something.  I just didn’t know what exactly.  For a few years, I have dabbled in being a yoga teacher and reading/researching so many things.  A few months ago, I found Kara at Boho Berry and I started a bullet journal.  Then I started reading some of the things that she and other bullet journalist were reading like Whole 30 and Miracle Morning.  Somehow, those books and blogs made me realize that I always wanted something better for myself but I just never went for it.  I had settled for the fact that things would be hard for me because I did not do things the way everyone else had.”

IWPI:  “What do you mean by ‘do things the way everyone else had’?”

Me:  “I mean, I didn’t finish college and I didn’t get married before I was 25.  I floundered after high school for a bit.  I guess I thought that because I didn’t go to college and that I hadn’t gotten married that my life would always be…not what I wanted.  I had spent at least a decade watching my friends graduate from college, get great jobs, get married, have kids, houses, promotions and eventually, drift away because we had nothing in common anymore.  And at the same time, I had gone through a couple of different jobs, boyfriends, bouts of depression, a very long period of thinking the worst of myself – that I was ugly or stupid or countless other adjectives about why I couldn’t find anyone to marry me or why I didn’t have a better job.

What I needed to see was that, I didn’t believe in myself.  That is why none of the things I wanted for myself were happening.  Slowly, I started to believe in myself.  A huge part of that was finding my husband and best friend.  He supported me when I was just starting to believe in myself, through all the growing pains (and the ones to come).  We got married this year and things have just been getting better and better.

Through all of this though, I was realizing that there was no one really for me to look up to.  No one that I could connect with.  I always felt like an outsider, amongst my friends and family.  I continually wished I had some sort of guidance, some ‘older sister’ advice.  I had always felt alone.  That’s why I came to blogging.  I wanted to put my story out there so that others could have some of what I didn’t – hope, maybe a little inspiration.  I wanted others to have someone who they could relate to and maybe learn from me.  Or at the very least to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  All the hard work, the waiting, would pay off.”

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present – Francis Bacon